Friday, October 10, 2014

Be careful what you wish for

For the past few weeks, I was sad. I was devastated. I was frustrated.

Yet, no tears run down my cheeks.

That's just me. Its not easy to see me letting the emotions all out in tears. I remember, once, I had to watch A Moment to Remember just to let out all the frustration I had in me. Just because its not easy to cry.

I can cry if and only if I watched something totally sad, when I am totally mad, or when I received death news.

For the past few weeks that I can't cry though I seriously wanted to let all the tears all out, I wish for any cause for me to cry appear. So that I have a solid reason to cry.

And then, it happened.

It really happened.

She left me forever.

I haven't get used to losing a grandma 8 month ago, and then, another one, the only grandma I have left, leaving us unexpectedly.

And I was surprised that I can actually cried for days.

Be careful what you wish for. It may be the only thing you regret when it happened.

I know I have to let her go, but I just can't. Not yet. I haven't moved on yet.

She was the nicest person I have ever known. I know she is in a better place. And i am glad that she leaves all the good things behind, even in her last days. You will be missed, always, nenek.