Friday, October 10, 2014

Be careful what you wish for

For the past few weeks, I was sad. I was devastated. I was frustrated.


Yet, no tears run down my cheeks.


That's just me. Its not easy to see me letting the emotions all out in tears. I remember, once, I had to watch A Moment to Remember just to let out all the frustration I had in me. Just because its not easy to cry.


I can cry if and only if I watched something totally sad, when I am totally mad, or when I received death news.


For the past few weeks that I can't cry though I seriously wanted to let all the tears all out, I wish for any cause for me to cry appear. So that I have a solid reason to cry.


And then, it happened.


It really happened.


She left me forever.


I haven't get used to losing a grandma 8 month ago, and then, another one, the only grandma I have left, leaving us unexpectedly.


And I was surprised that I can actually cried for days.


Be careful what you wish for. It may be the only thing you regret when it happened.


I know I have to let her go, but I just can't. Not yet. I haven't moved on yet.


She was the nicest person I have ever known. I know she is in a better place. And i am glad that she leaves all the good things behind, even in her last days. You will be missed, always, nenek.


Al-fatihah.