Monday, December 31, 2012
Friday, December 14, 2012
#1 : convocation day : 5 seconds of fame
#2 : bridging programme : 2 month in heaven, and hell
#3 : new home. new life. new future plan.
#4 : my best friend's engagement
#5 : where does all the time gone?
apparently, #5 is the content of #1 to #4, thats all can be updated for now.
till we meet again. yada yada yada.
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Mendidik seorang perempuan umpama mendidik sebuah bangsa.
2minggu lepas, bergolotlah aku menuju ke istana budaya usai kelas di sunway. Pergolotan berhasil menemukan tiket menonton teater tun siti hasmah. Teater, antara aktiviti yang aku rindui. Nampak kan, jiwa seorang penghibur aku tidak terbatas kepada bidang nyanyian sahaja.
Tirai dibuka dengan babak sang ibu menghantar anak perempuannya ke kolej di singapura dengan penuh kesyahduan dan nasihat berlingkaran.
Ironinya, setelah sang ibu melangkah pergi, pelajar pelajar yang tadinya berkeliaran membawa buku terus menyusun langkah menari twist. Haha, tipical student's life. Belakang ibu bapa berpoya poya.
Pertemuan tun siti hasmah dengan tun mahathir menjurus selepasnya. Juga, tipical student's life. Cinta zaman belajar.
Hebat juga tun siti hasmah tika mudanya. Repeat paper tak sudah sudah. Disuruh belajar dia bersukan. Disuruh membaca buku dia menyanyi menari. Tipical student's life.
Bukti tun siti hasmah juga manusia biasa, seperti kita.
Yang membezakan beliau cumalah di sisi siapa beliau berganding. Ya, menjadi seorang isteri bukanlah mudah. Menjadi seorang isteri kepada insan terpenting negara, kepayahan yang tak mampu dikata apatah lagi di laksana.
Tun siti hasmah membuktikan sebaliknya. Ketenangan dan ketabahan beliau tiada siapa mampu menyangkalnya.
Jasa beliau bukan hanya menjadi tulang belakang menyokong suami, malah juga menabur bakti dari hasil keringat beliau sendiri dalam misi kemanusiaan.
Wirawati malaysia, yang genuin.
Ok, enough with the storyline. Lets move on to the actors and actresses.
Lisa surihani was beautiful. Tapi, bergandingan dengan hero malaya membuatkan beliau invisible di mata aku. Maaflah lisa, aku cuma memandang lelaki kacak. Esma daniel was a perfect doppelganger of tun M. I mean, through the intonation and the body languange. Sebagaimana p ramlee ada musly ramlee, begitulah juga tun M dan esma daniel. Eja was okay. Calm and cool, setenang tun siti hasmah. Daaaannn.....
Nazim othman sangat handsome! Perfectly fit the image of tall, dark, and handsome, malay version.
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Saturday, November 10, 2012
Once in a lifetime.
Happy birthday, farah.
Too bad i failed the mission impossible. Nevertheless, thank u Allah for i am still breathing till now.
Goodbye, 10-11-12. U are such an amazing date. Sorry that i have to give up on u just like that.
p/s : and i will always love november
Friday, November 9, 2012
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Yeah. Its november. I know its too late, but still, welcome november.
First entry of november and i have nothing to story. Well, actually there's a lot, but too many things to say always ended me up with nothing to speak.
Again, and only, welcome november.
Always my favourite month. Better be good.
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Aku ini tidak punya suara
Bibir malah ingin sekali meluah rasa
Namun hanya nafas berat terhela
Jiwa ada tapi tidak berguna
Biar tidak terseksa hati
Biar tidak terdera minda
Aku ini tidak punya suara
Andai bulan bisa berbicara
Jikalau sang bintang mampu berkata kata
Rela aku serah jiwa
Tuturkanlah dari hati
Aku yang tiada punya suara
Sunday, October 28, 2012
Berlari aku ke hujung dunia
Tidak juga kelihatan bayangmu
Merangkak aku ke lohong sempit
Masih tidak kutemu kamu
Masih jauh jarak kita
Sekecil dunia belum juga bisa berjumpa
Tiada ketika jaga
Aku cari di dalam mimpi
Mungkin bukan di alam nyata
Harapku kelak di sebelah sana
Sampai satu masa itu tiba
P/s : sepatutnya study untuk exam, mood berpuitis datang tiba tiba pula. Ah, celaka. Bagai tiada masa lainnya.
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Tapi, cikgu sekarang? Jenis merokok. Bawak bekal lighter. Hah, bersedialah kau kena bakar.
Dahsyat cikgu sekarang. A few days, months, or maybe years ago, whenever there were lots of complaints from parents on kids been beaten in school by teachers, i would say, kids nowadays are such a sissy. And parents loved to raise spoiled brats. I was on the teachers side in that case. But still, i dont blame the society for the changing of environment.
But listening to my mom's story of what happened to my bro, it got me burned.
1. Merampas telefon bimbit adalah okay. And i blamed my brother for that.
2. Menuduh tanpa usul periksa adalah tidak okay. There are a lot more pupils that were angry with you, of what has happened, but attacking only one or two person without evidence or investigation, that should be called a fitnah.
3. Menyalakan lighter dan mencucuh ke bibir anak murid, itu adalah sangat sangat tidak okay (i refrain myself from using any more inappropriate words). Educating needs to be done in a proper manner, not threatening them, with lighter's on. That is beyond irrational, sorry to say.
I admit, my brother is not one of good student. Probably one of the naughtiest or worst student. But one thing i do believe is, we, 5 siblings, are never losing respect to someone older, because most of the time, we never speak out what we're thinking, or even what we're wishing, even to our parents. But if you do believe that he is the one that has insulted you, please do so, but with proofs.
Not with lighters.
Saturday, October 6, 2012
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Saturday, September 22, 2012
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Who doesn't love dramas? I've watched (and still watching) tonnes of dramas in my life. And being an analyst (or i thought i am), there are few types of drama you would caught on screen.
There are dramas that started with a good vibe. Well, first impression is good. They'll keep us wanting more, but slowly, they'll turn sour in the middle. And leave us cursing through the end.
There are dramas that started in slow pace. You would find it boring at first. But somehow, the mood twisted in time, and our hearts changed. And slowly, leave us smiling through the end.
There are dramas that we were really anticipating. Even before the airing. They'll keep us waiting eagerly for the start, but when they really came out, the results are not up to our expectations. And leave us a frustrated heart.
There are dramas that we don't really give a damn. Even when everyone in town talked about it, even when others really loved it, we teases, saying they're not our genre. But when we happened to stuck with them anyway, love struck, and we have to admit, they are good.
There are dramas that keep on twisting and tangling, giving us confusion and hearts fluttering.
Yet, there are also dramas that are straight forward. From the beginning, each plot is foreseen, and run smooth as we expected.
And do you know, that there is a drama, called life?
Yes, life is a drama.
Sometimes it started well, but ended badly.
Sometimes it gives a storm in the beginning, but leaves a rainbow at the end.
Sometimes we get what we expected, others we will be disappointed.
Life can be twisted, or straight forward.
Either way, we are no one to decide.
We can't tell. No one can.
Yes, life is a drama.
p/s: i watched dramas in my life. I watched dramas in my drama. I watched dramas in drama?? Huh?? Inception??
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Yes, the truth is uncomfortable. but if we don’t address the discomfort of the truth, we’ll have to live as the humans who believe something fake is actually real. we must embrace the uncomfortable truth as well. things aren’t always what they seem.
Monday, August 27, 2012
time do flies fast. value it much.
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Maka di sini,
Salam Aidilfitri buat semua pembaca farrakaka. (which means, only me, literally)
Mohon maaf dari hujung rambut hingga hujung kaki.
Tulus ikhlas dari,
Farrakaka dan bakal suami.
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Friday, August 3, 2012
Dan harini, time result keluar, emel aku buka, gagal kuasa dua dan aku masih juga demam.
Apa yang aku alami sekarang ini adalah dejavu. dejavu di hati kaku, tajuk cerita ini, sebab ia cerita aku.
I shouldn't have got the mood to update the blog but this is the only way i speak, literally. ya, aku sebenarnya dah jarang sangat membuka mulut, sehinggakan rahang aku mulai sakit akibat gigi yg terkatup terlalu ketat.
Dah selalu sangat aku gagal, maka aku dah imun. result k.o., tapi aku masih ok. itu normal. kadang aku terfikir, did i took this thing too coolly? did i took this thing too lightly? or did i took this thing too positively?
I guess they are all blended.
Or maybe i just happened to have nothing to feel. no feel no more. geez, where did my soul goes?
Apparently, somewhere myself doesn't know, and doesn't even bother to search.
But to tell the truth, to be like me, like-hey-it's-nothing-and-i-am-cool-like-this, there's a story behind it. and the story isn't a brag, its not even something to be proud of, but i do personally think that its not something to be ashamed of as well.
I do regret. but things happened. and i threw away those regret and sadness. and learned another way to redeem myself. there'll always be second chances, or in my case, up to third chances. so, regretting would be of no use. changing of plan would first be thought of. though i always fail to plan.
That would be the secret, #1.
But the devastated feeling of turning others down would always be felt. the parent, i speak of. and this morning, at times where i would always be found sleeping, i was awake, to the oppose. couldn't sleep though i tried to. and yes, it was because of the shock. the predictable shock i would say, but still, overwhelm took over me, a bit. and that was because i kept those feelings by myself. i thought i was strong enough to hold still, but i was afraid to present them with the failure. what am i going to tell?
So i thought, i should spill. maybe then i would feel better. maybe then i could sleep. thats more important.
And then i spill. with shaking voice, with pressure, and with full of thoughts, would they be able to take it cool, as i do?
Surprisingly, they took it cool. too cool that it loosen me up. and now i knew where do those traits in me came from. and a few minutes later, i was back on my bed, sleeping soundly. yeah, that's me.
I don't know how we ended up being too cool. it was awful, yet how did we can still react like nothing happened? like it wasn't a big deal? yo, it was a big deal. i am graduating but i got stuck with two papers, while all of my friends have already secured their places in uitm 77th convocation, yet i'm still here, got nowhere to go, and feeling insecured, but trying to act cool.
But i guess the feelings are there. the disappointment. the frustration. just that we know really well how to control, for not letting it all out, just to keep holding on, and that, is to make sure the other party doesn't feel too devastated. yes, the only way to make others happy, is to be happy. to show true happiness so that it can took over the sadness. guess that was what we felt. for sure it was what i felt, but the other party, i can't really tell.
Still, glad enough to feel that there are people who will always stand beside me. even though i betrayed them. but its their strength and support that makes me feel strong.
And that's the biggest reason. ultimate secret ingredient of being me.
I am selfish. it will always be a fact that i do not even care about myself, but i missed out the fact that there are people who care, which i should have thought of for me to have the consideration to take a good care of myself. my apology, for not loving myself, that it eventually affected others.
And yes, i'll take the challenge. if it's meant to be, it will be. life should go straight. no turning back. should there any obstacle and you stumble, stand up once again and go to the jungle. okay, i just wanna make it rhyme. couldn't think of another ryhming words, so, stand up once again and soar.
Even though it will take some (or a lot of) time, and you are not a wonder woman who heals fast.
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Monday, July 30, 2012
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Friday, July 6, 2012
Friday, June 29, 2012
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Friday, June 1, 2012
tapi serius, aku betul betul rasa nak tidur je.
tapi kau rugi lah nanti. sebab kau dah skip banyak proses. kau dah skip proses pembelajaran kau, zaman kerja kau, kisah cinta kau, dan hidup kau.
seolah olah kau cuma hidup sehari dan mati keesokan harinya.
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
p/s : i dont really like the new blogger.com. first facebook, and now, blogger. whats next?
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Happiness is all self-talk
I can’t stand something more complicated
It’s no big deal, i don’t care
Inevitable wandering, people come and go
*nak beri kaki, silalah. hew hew hew.
Saturday, March 24, 2012
do i need to repeat this paper too?
and it's just a questionnaire. who answers a questionnaire (of 200) in full heart?
Sunday, March 11, 2012
A week has passed since the first day of new sem. And i'm officially a part 8 student. Final year. Super senior. Taiko. Otai. (ok, enough. They got ur point).
A week has passed but I am still in the middle of adapting. Trying to blend in. (as the matter of fact, i'm still in denial mode, not accepting the fact that I have to be a student, back). Duh, why is it so hard?
So I figure out that i've to do something. Though some matters still haven't settled down yet, I made a promise to myself, that by the end of this first week, I will make myself a student. A normal student.
And as for my observation, a normal student means :
#1. wake up for classes, sleep whenever appropriate at leisure
#2. google is ur bestfriend
#3. study if and only if the mood has come
#4. do assignment if and only if the mood has come
#5. last minute work is a must
For me, point #3 and #4 are unsurprisingly impossible, which then lead to point #5.
Welcome back, student life. (i miss pwc very much. I miss using my brain only from 8.30 am to 5.30 pm. tsk tsk)
Oh, whining also is a student's bestfriend, so its okay to whine, sometimes.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Thursday, March 1, 2012
a piece of memory that would ever be forgotten.
*not forgetting, thank you, pwc.